The Real Sephiroth
by Casey Crystal
Summary: A parody of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady." Interested??? Oh you are? Kewl, just click that little link up there! No, the link to MY story! Thanx and please R+R


(A/N: Come on, who didn't see this coming???)   
  
  
  
~*~*~*~THE REAL SEPHIROTH~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
  
May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the real Sephiroth please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Sephiroth please stand up?  
We're gonna have a problem here..  
  
You all act like you've never seen a psyco clone person before  
Blood all over the floor, like Jenova had just burst into the door  
And then I kicked your *** worse than before  
First came madness, burning down the towns (EEK!)  
It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,  
He isn't exactly going to become good friends, is he?"  
And Hojo said....nothing you vermin!  
Hojo's dead, he's in Shinra's basement! (Ha! Ha!)  
All women love Sephiroth  
(chigga chigga chigga) "Sephiroth, I'm sick of him,  
Lookit him, walking around attacking with you-know-what  
Killing off you know who," "Yeah but Sephy's cute though!"  
Yeah, I've probably got a million screws up in my head loose  
But no worse than what happens when you authors get loose  
Sometimes, I wanna run loose and kill you drones  
But it's cool for ShinRa to create these clones  
"I stabbed you with my sword, I stabbed you with my sword"  
Just a result of me getting really bored  
And that's the message that we force upon wimps like you  
And expect you not to know what a reactor can really do  
Of course they're gonna know who Hojo is  
By the time they hit age ten  
They're gonna to get injected, ain't they?  
"We ain't nothing but clones.." Well, some us are humans  
Who search across the mako-drained lands  
But if we can find dead 'ole Jenova and cut her up  
And there's no clones, wait I just made that part up  
But if you feel like I feel, you need an antidote  
Where's Meteor? There it goes.  
Sing the chorus and it goes...  
  
  
Chorus: (repeat 2X)  
  
I'm Sephiroth, yes I'm really Sephiroth  
All you other clones are just ****ing me off  
So won't the real Sephiroth please stand up,  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
Prof Gast didn't hurt others to improve Shinra  
When Hojo did so screw them and screw Shinra too!  
You think I care about the Cetra?  
You guys died pitifully, even the humans did beta  
"But Seph, you're an ancient, so isn't that weird?"  
Nope, you don't know me, how did you get here?  
Go home, throw back a couple of beers  
Heck, you guys all deserve to die anyways  
And why don't you guys compare me to Jenova and ShinRa?  
They're just as evil, hey what rhymes with 'ShinRa'?  
You little girls, why do you have the hots for me?  
"Yeah he's cute, but I think he's around age thirty, hee-hee!"  
I should put you all out of your misery  
And show the whole world that I'm not exactly a 'cutie.' {AAAH!}  
I'm tired of you little AVALANCHE groups, all you do is scare me  
So Meteor has been sent here to crush you {bzzt!}  
And there's a couple of clones just like me  
Who kill like me; who just wanna take over like me  
Who dress like me; walk, talk, and fly like me  
And actually could be the next best thing but they're not me!  
  
  
Chorus:  
  
I'm Sephiroth, yes I'm really Sephiroth  
All you other clones are just ****ing me off  
So won't the real Sephiroth please stand up,  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
  
I'm not that fun to listen to, cause I'm only giving you  
The things that you ought to know and you know it's true  
That I'm the the only one with the guts to say it  
In front of y'all and I can be cruel not sugarcoated at all  
I just run up with my sword and slash ya  
And if you work for ShinRa, {ERR} I am better  
Than every single one of you yes-men out there!  
And then you fans wonder how ShinRa can just stand and stare  
It's funny, cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty  
I'll end up in the nursing home gone all crazy and birdy  
Kicking nurses' ***es and grabbing all the materia  
And I'm trying to cast but these orbs just aren't working  
And everywhere a Sephy-clone is lurking  
He could be working in your town, making the water level go up and down  
Or he's in the crator, summoning,  
Screaming "This is a bore!"  
With his gaurd down so let's go beat him up  
So, will the real Sephiroth please stand up?  
And someone tell my mother to just shut the **** up!  
I am proud to be outta my mind and I'm in control  
So let's call meteor, there's the chorus, how's it go?  
  
  
Chorus:  
  
I'm Sephiroth, yes I'm really Sephiroth  
All you other clones are just ****ing me off  
So won't the real Sephiroth please stand up,  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
  
  
fin  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
(A/N: Comments? Questions? Flames? Tea? All are welcome, please review!) 


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